Parents Zone
Empowering Child Development Through Positive Discipline
It is commonly believed that the period between 0 and 6 years of age is a crucial phase for a child's development a time when children are naturally inquisitive about the world and explore it in various ways. During this stage, there may be many instances of making big mistakes. When such situations occur repeatedly, familiar phrases like "Why aren't you listening?" or "Why can't you follow simple instructions?" may arise.
In reality, continual blaming and criticism not only strain the parent-child relationship, but also impact a child's long-term growth. Research conducted jointly by University of Montreal and Stanford University has shown that consistently using harsh parenting approaches can alter a child's brain structure, leading to a reduction in the size of the "prefrontal cortex" and "amygdala", areas responsible for emotional regulation. This can result in increased anxiety in children, subsequently affecting their learning and development.
Therefore, we strongly suggest parents to adopt a positive disciplinary approach, embracing a "growth mindset". Just like muscles, the brain can develop further with exercise, offering ample room for progress and enhancement in intelligence. For example, if a child struggles with self-feeding and parents perceive it as the child simply not knowing how, they might be reluctant to invest time and effort in helping the child improve, thus hindering the child’s learning.
In contrast, when parents have faith in their child's learning capabilities, they tend to adjust their home environment and parenting techniques to provide opportunities for the child to learn to self-feed. Dr Daniel Siegel, a psychiatrist from the United States, emphasizes that "every mistake a child makes is a chance for parents to provide guidance." Belief influences approach. Embracing the concept of a "growth mindset" enables parents to be more patient with their child's errors and missteps in their disciplinary actions.
Moreover, we encourage parents to express appreciation and offer praise to their children. The more children feel acknowledged, the more self-assured they become. When praising children, parents should i) base their compliments on observable facts and ii) highlight the effort made rather than innate abilities or talents.
In his work "Different Children, Different Needs: Understanding the Unique Personality of Your Child", author Charles F. Boyd introduced a three-step method of "descriptive praise":
(1) Describe specific behaviour. "I noticed you always tidy up your toys after playing."
(2) Acknowledge the child's feelings. "I can see this isn't an easy task."
(3) Conclude with positivity. "I appreciate your consistent efforts in tidying up after playtime."
To summarize, positive discipline is about the attitude you choose and it determines the realm. As long as parents are willing to create opportunities for their children to attempt and rectify their mistakes, children can foster a growth mindset through dedicated efforts. By offering praise and encouragement throughout this process, parents can foster a positive parent-child relationship, thereby helping children build self-esteem and a sense of security.