It is commonly believed that the period between 0 and 6 years of age is a crucial phase for a child's development a time when children are naturally inquisitive about the world and explore it in various ways. During this stage, there may be many instances of making big mistakes. When such situations occur repeatedly, familiar phrases like "Why aren't you listening?" or "Why can't you follow simple instructions?" may arise.

In reality, continual blaming and criticism not only strain the parent-child relationship, but also impact a child's long-term growth. Research conducted jointly by University of Montreal and Stanford University has shown that consistently using harsh parenting approaches can alter a child's brain structure, leading to a reduction in the size of the "prefrontal cortex" and "amygdala", areas responsible for emotional regulation. This can result in increased anxiety in children, subsequently affecting their learning and development.

Therefore, we strongly suggest parents to adopt a positive disciplinary approach, embracing a "growth mindset". Just like muscles, the brain can develop further with exercise, offering ample room for progress and enhancement in intelligence. For example, if a child struggles with self-feeding and parents perceive it as the child simply not knowing how, they might be reluctant to invest time and effort in helping the child improve, thus hindering the child’s learning.

In contrast, when parents have faith in their child's learning capabilities, they tend to adjust their home environment and parenting techniques to provide opportunities for the child to learn to self-feed. Dr Daniel Siegel, a psychiatrist from the United States, emphasizes that "every mistake a child makes is a chance for parents to provide guidance." Belief influences approach. Embracing the concept of a "growth mindset" enables parents to be more patient with their child's errors and missteps in their disciplinary actions.

Moreover, we encourage parents to express appreciation and offer praise to their children. The more children feel acknowledged, the more self-assured they become. When praising children, parents should i) base their compliments on observable facts and ii) highlight the effort made rather than innate abilities or talents.

In his work "Different Children, Different Needs: Understanding the Unique Personality of Your Child", author Charles F. Boyd introduced a three-step method of "descriptive praise":

(1) Describe specific behaviour. "I noticed you always tidy up your toys after playing."

(2) Acknowledge the child's feelings. "I can see this isn't an easy task."

(3) Conclude with positivity. "I appreciate your consistent efforts in tidying up after playtime."

To summarize, positive discipline is about the attitude you choose and it determines the realm. As long as parents are willing to create opportunities for their children to attempt and rectify their mistakes, children can foster a growth mindset through dedicated efforts. By offering praise and encouragement throughout this process, parents can foster a positive parent-child relationship, thereby helping children build self-esteem and a sense of security.

For parents, granting children autonomy may not always feel like an available choice, as young children often struggle with decision-making. Consequently, parents frequently take on the roles of teachers and guides, particularly in educational matters, steering their children in a more directive manner. However, have parents ever considered allowing their children to take the lead in learning? Does a child-centred approach lead to reduced learning outcomes or a lack of comprehensive understanding?

Reflect on times when you were most engaged and deeply immersed in learning—did it stem from the mandatory school curriculum or from courses you willingly enrolled in? When you are genuinely interested in something, you naturally seek to delve deeper, expanding your knowledge. Independent learning does not equate to absolute freedom from constraints or responsibilities. Rather, providing appropriate guidance and support during a child's learning journey enables them to recognize and develop their decision-making skills.

So, how can parents nurture their children's autonomy?

Firstly, establish effective communication and interaction: Building a strong parent-child relationship lays the groundwork for fostering autonomy. Parents can set aside time each day to engage in play and conversation with their children, respecting their opinions and emotions, and encouraging them to articulate their thoughts. Through open-ended discussions, children enhance their critical thinking skills, grasp diverse viewpoints, and learn to express their own perspectives.

Moreover, in everyday life, parents can empower their children to make appropriate choices, such as selecting meals, outfits, modes of transportation, reading materials, etc., involving them in the decision-making process. This approach can foster the development of children's decision-making skills, enhance their confidence, and deepen their understanding of how their choices can influence outcomes.

Parents should also motivate their children to explore new things, try different activities, acquire fresh skills and knowledge. Whenever feasible, allow children to choose activities they enjoy, while parents explain and describe the content and features of various options, to enable children to engage in activities that resonate with them and nurture their interests.

By fostering children's learning autonomy, their problem-solving skills can flourish further. When children encounter challenges or obstacles, parents can prompt them to think independently and seek solutions. Through inquiry, parents can guide their children in identifying the core issues and developing solutions, thus empowering them to choose how to address the problem.

In essence, independent learning nurtures self-awareness and capability. Through promoting effective communication, providing choices, cultivating problem-solving skills, encouraging exploration of new concepts, and instilling a sense of responsibility, parents can establish an environment where children can learn autonomously. This allows children to grasp learning methodologies, cultivate a self-directed learning attitude, and continuously hone their learning skills.

Multi-sensory exploration enables children to comprehend and experience the world through visual, auditory, tactile, olfactory, and gustatory stimuli.

While this concept may be familiar to most parents, how can they enrich their children's multi-sensory experiences? Here are three suggestions on how to offer abundant sensory stimulation in everyday life to cultivate children's sensory abilities, enhance cognitive and language skills, and foster their curiosity and an adventurous spirit towards the world.

1. Varied culinary experiences:

Food serves as a readily accessible educational tool in daily life. Parents can engage children in meal preparation tasks like washing fruits, mixing ingredients, etc. This involvement allows children to touch, smell, and taste ingredients, facilitating the development of their tactile, olfactory, and gustatory senses. Parents can also prompt children to taste different foods to explore diverse flavours and textures, and describe the tastes and sensations they encounter, thus nurturing their language and sensory development.

     Multi-sensory artistic endeavours:

Art activities, including visual arts, music, and dance, can create wonderful family engagements. Parents simply need to provide a range of materials such as paint, clay, paper and more, and spend time together with their children exploring freely touching, painting, or moulding these materials. During this time, parents can also encourage their children to observe the changes in colours, shapes, or textures, thereby stimulating their visual, tactile, and creative senses. For more energetic children, parents can host a "music party" at home, playing various music genres. Together with their children, they can listen to and feel the rhythms, tones, and volumes while dancing or moving freely, thus engaging their auditory and kinaesthetic senses.

     Outdoor expeditions:

Parents can take their children outdoors to immerse them in sensory experiences in nature. For instance, while on a walk, prompt children to observe different plants and insects, listen to variations in bird calls, and feel the soil's texture. You can also explore parks or beaches together, collecting leaves, rocks, or seashells, and discussing their distinctive features. The diversity of nature not only enriches children’s sensory encounters but also heightens their awareness and appreciation of the natural world.

The above-mentioned methods serve as a starting point for children to explore their multiple senses; engaging in conversations and interactions with young children is crucial for developing their skills in multi-sensory exploration. Therefore, dedicating a bit more time to play games, observe surroundings together, and share observations and experiences, while offering positive feedback and encouragement, is essential for sparking children's interest in learning and nurturing their curiosity for exploration.

The key milestones in a child’s social development involve social skills, emotional expression, self-control and communication skills. According to a research by Harvard University, a child’s social and emotional growth in the first five years of their life is vital for their overall well-being and happiness both at school and in life. The following are some of the changes in growth and social development for children aged 2-6

Ages 2-3

During this stage, a child’s language abilities, fine and gross motor skills, cognition skills, etc. are still in the process of development. Their social behaviours exhibit a more self-centred approach, and tend to revolve around their own desires. For instance, children often argue over toys, as they think that all toys are their personal belongings, and they may prefer playing alone or having adults as their companions.

Ages 3-4

Children gradually become more independent at this age, they are able to communicate using simple sentences. They start learning to share, take turns, and follow rules in simple games. This stage also marks the beginning of spontaneous imitation and engaging in role-playing games.

Ages 4-5

Children get better to follow instructions, enabling them to actively participate in activities with others and provide simple instructions themselves. They also learn how to show care and concern for others. At this stage, their creativity flourishes, allowing them to create simple games such as sandpit play, and engage in competitive games while understanding the concept of winning and losing, in games such as “red light, green light”.

Ages 5-6

Children’s self-awareness reaches at a more mature level, and they are equipped with better observational skills, self-control and they become more independent. They will start comparing themselves to friends or adults unconsciously, and they become aware of gender differences. At the same time, they develop a preference to spend more time interacting with friends, and choose their own friends and playmates, while seeking to form friendships with their peers. At this stage, children are ready to participate in group games and grasp more complex game concepts and instructions.

How to improve a child’s social skills?

Preschool children can learn social skills through observation, imitation, games, and practical experiences in their daily lives.

l Provide learning opportunities, practice in daily life

Parents can create opportunities for children to practice social skills in various settings, such as visiting friends and relatives, at the playgrounds, and during school activities. Practice with your child by facilitating interactions and playing with different people, so that they can accumulate diverse social experiences and

learn how to apply the skills they have acquired in their day-to-day life.

l Give affirmation and rewards accordingly

When children display appropriate social behaviours during interactions, such as polite greetings or taking turns in play, following rules and so on, parents should provide immediate verbal praise or non-verbal gestures of approval. In instances where children exhibit inappropriate behaviour, parents should remain calm, encourage appropriate behaviour, and demonstrate the proper ways of interaction. This approach enables children to learn and internalise correct social behaviours more effectively.

Children’s social and emotional development changes and becomes more complex as they grow. But the good news is that parents play a crucial role in fostering a child’s positive social skills. If parents provide a positive environment for children to express their emotions freely, the parents’ acceptance and affirmation will have a positive influence on their child’s social development.

1. Establish a fixed schedule of rest

By setting a daily schedule with your child, you will help your child understand the daily routine and work schedule, which will help them to follow the agreed rules and learn to manage their time. Parents can also include cute and easy-to-understand picture cards to enhance the playfulness and clarity of the daily routine.

2. Control the environment

By reducing temptations such as TV, tablets and toys at appropriate times and providing a good learning and eating environment for your child, you can help your child focus on a disciplined lifestyle. Parents should also try to set an example by being the role model for their children during meals. It is also advisable to set a regular place for your child to study and keep it tidy so that your child can develop good study habits.

As a parent, you will have to go through numerous stages of trial and error to establish a good routine for your child, and finally, here are two tips to keep your child motivated in times of fatigue:

Tip 1: Timely Rewards

Reward your child when they improve their behaviour or reach their goals. For example, a sticker, a playtime with mum, a delicious meal or dessert. These rewards help to reinforce good behaviour and facilitate the parent-child relationship.

Tip 2: Appropriate Consequences

If the child does not follow the rules, parents should try to keep calm. Take a firm stance and follow through with appropriate consequences. For example, stopping cartoons for three days, or temporarily suspending their favourite strawberries for two days.

Remember: the above rewards and punishments need to be consistent with all carers, with plenty of encouragement and reminders to achieve results.

Parent-child relationship strategy

Take turns drawing each other's portraits to increase their bonding time. Spend a few minutes gazing at each other's features, even touching each other's eyebrows, noses, mouths and ears, and then draw them on paper. Instead of commenting on the quality of the child's work, focus on the interaction with the child and enjoy the intimacy and fulfilment that the art activity brings.

Topic

Disciplinary Sharing

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Have parents ever been troubled by the situation that their children promised something casually, but then cheated? For example, you agreed with your child to go to the park to play for a while and then go home, but in the end the child refused to leave and ended up crying? Or go to a toy store with your child, but the child insists on buying a toy before leaving, causing parent-child conflict? Here I will share with you some coping methods to prevent children from being rambunctious, so as to avoid unnecessary conflicts! 

 

Corresponding moves
Respond to feelings, clear boundaries, and give specific instructions
When encountering a child who is rambunctious, parents can first understand the child's feelings, and then express restrictions and give instructions. For example, when a child is reluctant to leave the park, parents can say, "I know you really want to play, but it's time enough, I have to go.", "I saw you had a good time in the park, but it's dark We're going home for dinner." Parents can also use special parent-child rituals or gestures to confirm their promises, such as "high five", pulling fingers, pressing the "start" button, etc.

 

Three chapters of agreement, early notice
When watching a wonderful movie, being interrupted and not getting what you want is a very disruptive thing. It is even more difficult for children who are still learning to control their emotions and adapt to changes. Parents can give advance notice before their children are reckless, so that children can be mentally prepared early. For example, parents can remind their children before entering the park: "You can play in the park for an hour today, and then we will go back home." Or "If the timer beeps for a while, we will leave. ".

 

Specific instructions
When parents give instructions to their children, they need to carefully tell the child what he is going to do. Young children cannot fully understand vague instructions, so parents' instructions can be concise, specific and positive. For example, parents can change "clean the room" into "put the toys back into the toy box", and parents can also give 5-10 seconds for the child to digest the instructions. If parents think that something is something the child should do, avoid asking him questions such as "Is it okay?"

 

Giving specific instructions, parents can try the following steps:
1. Approach the child, make eye contact, and call the child by name.
2. Instructions: I am leaving the park (give 5-10 seconds, you can give two instructions).
3. If the child follows the instructions, praise can be given immediately, for example: "You can leave the park immediately, keep your promise, and you did a good job!" If the child does not follow the instructions, you can give consequences, for example: "Because you did not keep your promise, today you will be rewarded." Parent-child reading/game time will be canceled when it is too late” (give 5-10 seconds for the child to understand).

 

Build Up Good Parent-Child Relationship Method
Parents can take 10-15 minutes a day to play a game with their children and build quality parent-child time. Parents can use cotton balls to play intimate interactive games with their children. For example, parents can first let the child sleep on the bed and close the eyes, and lightly touch the child's body with a cotton ball, and then let the child open his eyes and guess which position was touched just now (if the child does not know how to express it in words, let the child point with your finger). Parents can also take turns switching the roles of assessment and assessment with their children. Through the process of playing, parents can build a sense of intimacy with their children through physical contact.

 

 

Topic

Discipline Sharing of Dependent Children

The life of urbanites is extraordinarily busy. Especially when parents are in a hurry to finish housework, work or go out, the child's obsession often makes parents feel overwhelmed and very troubled. Send five corresponding moves, and learn with you to calm your child's emotions and enrich your child's timetable, so that parents can handle work or enjoy "ME TIME" peacefully.

 

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Corresponding moves
1. Positive attitude
Parents are a mirror for children, and children always like to imitate their parents' words and deeds. Keep calm and speak positively, and children will learn to express themselves calmly.
For example: Your child keeps calling you when you go out, and you are so busy that your hair is messed up, you can take a deep breath first, and say softly: "Mom is so attached to you, I will come back after buying ice cream!"

 

2. Reflect feelings
Children have emotions all the time. However, children may not be able to perceive their own emotional state, and they may not be aware of their excessive expression. Parents can use the "magic mind reading technique" to help their children express:
For example: "I saw you with a flat mouth (expression/expression), as if you were unhappy... (feeling/emotion)"

 

3. Emotional synchronization
Children always want to be with their parents all the time and seek connection with them. Parents can use their words and deeds to make their children feel understood. This tacit understanding of "crying and laughing together" can establish a good security support for their children and reduce their separation anxiety.
For example: "Dad knows that you really want to go back to work with me (the reason for the child's unhappiness), and Dad is always attached to you, and will return to Li to accompany you as soon as work is over!"

 

4. Expression restrictions
Letting children understand the current limitations will help them learn to face unsatisfactory things.
For example: "The market is too crowded, it's too dangerous for children to go, mother can't take you there!"

 

5. Enrich the The Rest of Time
Arrange specific and interesting things for your children before going out to distract them and reduce obsession. When the children call to express their thoughts, use the above three items to appease the children's emotions, and then use specific things to divert their attention. When you get home, don't forget to appreciate your children's ability to play alone and reinforce their good behavior.
Example: "The handicrafts you are doing so far are so creative! Mommy appreciates that you can play by yourself! Zhong Hao puts all his heart into it!"

 

Build Up Good Parent-Child Relationship Method

Play the hand shadow game: set aside 10 minutes before going to bed, shine the light on the parents' hands and cast a big shadow, accompanied by a monologue, and enjoy the fun with the children.

 

 

Topic

Healthy Eating Habits

Many parents said that there is always a big battle at the dinner table every day. Prepare rich dishes carefully, but the food in the child's bowl is as immobile as a mountain. Parents were disappointed and angry, but also worried that their children would not grow well enough. I hope the following four formulas can help you reduce the worries caused by feeding!

 

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1: Set a time for eating
Set a target meal time with your child, and give appropriate reminders midway. For example, first try to set a reasonable rule of "complete a meal within 30 minutes" with them, and then use a gentle voice to remind the children of the remaining time from the remaining 15 minutes of the meal. If necessary, you can also use clocks/hourglasses, timers and other gadgets as a visual cue.

 

2:Good Point of View
Parents must have a consistent and firm stance to deal with children's mind wandering while eating. For example, when children are noisy and want to eat while watching TV, it is recommended that parents first agree on a consistent attitude and continue to guide the children to follow the appropriate meal rules.

"We have to eat first, and then turn on the TV when we're done. If we don't eat quickly, we spend less time watching TV."

 

3: Positive Encouragement and Appreciation
Appreciating children's good behaviors in a timely and specific manner can help positiveize and maintain them, and improve eating motivation. When the child starts to try to eat the food he resists, parents can give small gifts such as small stickers and stamps as reinforcement.

For example, "Dad appreciates your willingness to try."
"Mom sees that you are concentrating on eating, wait for me to stamp a stamp to remember you!"

 

4. Varied Food Ideas
Attract children's attention through brightly colored food and dishes, and improve children's motivation to eat. Parents can also use food to build different patterns or cartoons to celebrate with their children during holidays/festivals/free time, bringing surprises to children, strengthening children's good behavior and promoting parent-child relationship.

 

Build Up Good Parent-Child Relationship Method

Cooking with your children, invite your children to beat an egg for you, wash rice, measure flour, and enhance parent-child relationship.